E-parent in the Digital World

As children begin to learn and use faster than their parents, uncontrolled use of technology by children has increased. Accordingly, the concerns of conscious mothers have also increased. Maybe his child is not on the street, at home and in front of his eyes, next to him, but he does not know what he is doing on the tablet or phone in his hand, he does not know the content of the game he is playing…

“PARENT What comes to mind when you say “to be”? Is parenthood trying to feed, drink, dress, send the child to school and have a good job?

The work does not end with just feeding the child’s stomach and dressing his back. Parenting is necessary to provide trust and unconditional love, which are the basic needs of the child, and to raise self-confident and self-confident children.

The mother-child relationship begins with the mother’s pregnancy and continues with the baby’s opening its eyes to the world. From the first moments of the child’s birth, there is an interaction between the parent and the child. Children see the world through the eyes of their parents. From the first moment they opened their eyes to the world, the people they took as a model are their parents.

Freud states that personality develops between the ages of 0-6. In this age period, the child is most happy to spend time with his parents and interact with them. He imitates their behavior and speech. How they react to events, do they get angry at the slightest thing, how they solve events, how they make relationships with other people, the child always learns by observing them. If your child has a behavior that you do not like, you should first review your own behavior!

It is inevitable for a child who grows up in an environment where lies, violence or anger dominate due to the wrong attitudes of his parents, to establish unhealthy relationships with his environment and family in his individual life. So, what are the attitudes of parents in the process of raising children?

Democratic parenting attitude

In a democratic attitude, parents show unconditional love and respect to their children. The attitude of the parents towards the child is balanced and reassuring. When there is a problem, the problem is discussed within the family. However, the final decision is left to the child himself.

The child is given responsibility according to his age and the parents supervise it. Parents always show their love to their children. The child is aware of this love and compassion, he knows that his family supports him. He can easily express his opinion on a subject.

The child, whose ideas are valued and listened to by his parents, does not hesitate to ask his family for help when faced with a problem. Because for him family is the safest shelter.

Overprotective parenting

In the overprotective parental attitude, there is too much interference with the child. Parents constantly try to protect the child from everything. She constantly intervenes because she thinks that the child cannot make the right decision on her own, and she wants to decide for her child.

Parents who act with this attitude want their children to be dependent on them and to fulfill their parents’ wishes without questioning them. Because they believed that they would make the right decision for their children.

Overly oppressive parenting attitude

The overly oppressive parent always has a controlling attitude towards the child. He is trying to impose his will. He never takes the dreams, interests and wishes of the child seriously and does not allow the child to realize them. Children of parents who behave in this way display aggressive and stubborn behaviors in society.

overly tolerant attitude

Parents who exhibit an overly tolerant attitude give consent to all their children’s wishes. They do not go against the wishes of their children, nor do they impose any restrictions. When the wishes of the children do not end, eventually the limits of the parents’ tolerance are exceeded. This time, the parent tries to deal with their children by applying strict punishments. Even though they look for ways to cope in this way, the parent, who is both tolerant and strict, causes confusion in the children this time.

Disinterested parent attitude

Disinterested parents are couples who do not set rules for their children, neglect their children, and deprive the child of their most basic need of love and attention. They express the reason why they cannot spare time for their children by making excuses such as busy working life. Because the child becomes a hindrance for them.

Children who grow up deprived of the love and affection of their parents, even though they are physically adults, are emotionally deficient. What is meant here is not that the parent cannot spare time for their child because of his/her work, but that he/she makes an excuse to work against his/her indifference.

Inconsistent parenting attitude

The “unstable and unstable” behaviors of the parents negatively affect the education and development of the child. Inconsistent parental attitude is the general attitude of the parents about an issue. When this happens, the child becomes confused and conflicted about which decision is correct.

Perfectionist parenting attitude

The child, who is constantly criticized by his parents and sees that his needs such as being loved, approved and accepted are met only when he/she is successful, has perfectionist characteristics.

What is digital parenting?

In today’s world, if we look at parental behaviors and the contribution of technology to this or what it takes from us, technology has become an inseparable part of our lives. Along with providing convenience in a large area of ​​life, uncontrolled use of technology has increased for children as children learn and use faster than their parents. Accordingly, the concerns of conscious mothers have also increased. Maybe his child is not on the street, at home and in front of his eyes, next to him, but he does not know what he is doing on the tablet or phone in his hand, he does not know the content of the game he is playing…

In this subject, which can affect the mental and physical development of children in many ways, “the features that parents should have in order to be a good guide in the digital world of children and instill the correct use of technology in their children have created the concept of digital parenting”. (Mahmut Sagittarius)

What are the benefits of technology for children and youth?

When used appropriately and correctly, internet technologies offer many opportunities to children and young people. We can list these opportunities as follows: Providing easy access to many news and articles published in Turkey and abroad, accessing many foreign language education sites, improving language skills, making three-dimensional drawings and developing themselves in many areas through distance education…

Internet technology provides an opportunity for a person who is difficult to reach in daily life to communicate and share via e-mail. It is possible to extend the list above, but the important thing here is that parents guide their children in appropriate and healthy internet use.

What are the risks that await children?

Just as you do not leave your child alone with a stranger or hand over a child to someone you do not know, it is also a great risk for children to be left unchecked in an internet environment that resembles a bottomless pit with no clear end.

Let’s take a look at these risks…

In these environments, children may be exposed to some visuals that they are not ready for physically and mentally. They can easily access sites that may adversely affect children, such as violent games and substance use. In the absence of filters, some pop-up advertisements increase the exposure of children to negative content. In this way, children playing violent games at a young age also increase the likelihood of them becoming violent individuals in their later years. As a result of the child’s contact with people they do not know on the internet, it is inevitable that he develops false relationships or is deceived, sharing some family information with strangers, and is exposed to traumatic events in the person’s life, such as harassment and abuse.

Here are the things parents should pay attention to:

Personal information should not be shared with anyone; At this point, do not share your child’s photos on social media!

Considering the age of the child, you can restrict the time they spend online. Of course, while limiting the child, if the phone does not fall from our own hands, do not expect the warning and rules to be taken into account by the child. Because a child is disciplined not with words, but with actions.

Since 0-2 years old is a critical period for the brain development of babies, screen use by children before the age of two is harmful.

For both adults and children, screen use and any game played in a way that interferes with work and responsibilities in daily life will lead to addiction, as well as open the door to physical and mental problems, this is considered “problematic use”. In such a case, you can get help from the school counselor or a specialist.

Cell phone, television and tablet should not be seen as babysitters. Sitting in front of the screen because the child does not eat or stop is to isolate them from the real world by hypnotizing them.

Remember that you are a role model for your child in every way; If your child sees that you do not drop these tools, they may think that this is normal. While reading a book, allow him to see you with respect for the elders, with love and compassion for the younger ones, and allow him to take an example.

Remember, what kind of an individual your child will be in the future is hidden in the themes that were taken when he was little. Don’t let technology rule you, you manage technology!

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