Today, I would like to talk to you about a mental problem that is encountered in almost one out of ten people, but some people experience it at a severe level and others at a milder level. While you are talking about this problem, you can say that you have gone through such a process, as well as you can say that you have witnessed such a situation in my close environment. You know, when we think that all eyes are on us in a crowded environment, we feel tense, our voice is shaky, our mouth is dry, and we hesitate to speak. “If I talk, I will be disgraced, everyone will make fun of me, I will not be able to look anyone in the face” thoughts gnaw at our brains, you know. Or, while walking on the road, we think that all eyes are on us and start walking with fast steps so as not to meet anyone’s eyes. Even if we do not experience this situation exactly, we have witnessed someone in our close environment who has experienced this and a similar situation.
Generally, the first thought that comes to mind for people who encounter such a problem “very shy person”or “very shy person” it can happen. However, this is neither shyness nor shyness. Well, what ? This is the situation that affects our lives deeply and causes us to have negative automatic thoughts. At this point from social phobia We will be able to talk. Just for a second, close our eyes and imagine that in a theater, all your acquaintances are on stage to watch your performance. When the curtain opens, imagine that you are not wearing your costume, that you have no clothes on. How would you feel! Of course, you would get caught up in your feelings and thoughts if you had a great embarrassment and ran away from there, or if the ground was open, you would have entered it. Is this the same thing as social phobia? you can say. Yes, the emotions and negative automatic thoughts experienced by those with social phobia are exactly like the emotions and thoughts you experience when you go on stage without any clothes on. The only difference is that they experience these feelings and thoughts of their daily life rather than a scene. Individuals with social phobia think that they may be judged, ridiculed, embarrassed or disgraced by others and live with this fear constantly.
My client, who told her family about the difficulties she experienced for a long time, but could not get any support because her family stated that this is a puberty problem, that it can pass over time, and that there is nothing to exaggerate. He is 17 years old (male) and finally stated that he could not cope with this process and wanted to go to a psychologist by putting pressure on his family. When we consider his life story; He stated that he was afraid of speaking and being in public for a long time, that he had difficulty in entering the friend environment at school, that there were days when he got off at the next stop because he could not specify that he would get off at the place he wanted to get off, and that he exhibited truancy behavior when he had to give lectures in the classroom. At the same time, he was experiencing physiological symptoms such as palpitations, sweating, tension, nausea, and dry mouth.
Alright ” What must he have gone through to be confronted with these negative automatic thoughts?”
People with social phobia family-friendly is of great importance. The development of social phobia is higher in children who grow up in families that constantly criticize their children and are indifferent to them. Constantly in the face of events “Why did you do that?” ” you are useless” ” you are incompetent “ The risk of social phobia in children who grow up with expressions such as these is also high. A person who is constantly afraid of making mistakes and thinks that every behavior he does is wrong, besides having difficulty in establishing social relations, “that he will make a mistake in society, be humiliated, be blamed, mocked” thinks. One of the most important things that should not be forgotten is that individuals who are in adolescence are withdrawing, avoiding being in society, and not to be confused with shyness. Just like my client’s feelings and thoughts. It should be noted that these symptoms are serious mental problems that families consider as adolescence problems and are overlooked.
Again, highly anxious parents or overly oppressive parents can prevent their children’s need for research, examination and discovery. Such an inhibition makes it difficult for the child to develop a sense of self-confidence and become autonomous. It is also normal for the child, who has a constant sense of fear, to avoid people and avoid confrontation. Especially between the ages of two and three, the most important people in the lives of children are their parents, that is, their families who care for them. It should be noted that in this period when the child is trying to explore the environment, the attitudes and attitudes of his parents are very important. Especially starting from this age, a balanced approach to children will be effective in the development of the child’s self-confidence and in the absence of social phobia. Therefore, the attitude of the family towards the child “You can do it, I believe you, if you wantPositive sentences such as ‘may be’ so that future mental problems that may occur can be overcome.