We cannot separate people from their emotions. Feelings; It is one of the most basic elements that make a human human and has a central importance.
TDK explains Emotion as the impressions that certain objects, events or individuals evoke in the inner world of a person. In other words, we can say that emotions arise as a result of the interaction of people with internal and environmental factors. We have various feelings about every event and situation we encounter in our daily life. Although we are not aware of the emotions we are feeling at the moment, they produce reactions in an organized manner and also include physiological, cognitive and experiential psychological systems.
At the same time, emotion; It also includes concepts such as feelings and mood. Emotions are intense feelings directed towards someone or something, but mood is less intense than emotions, lacking a direct stimulus by internal and environmental factors.
In comprehensive studies, it is seen that the state of expressing emotions varies from person to person, is expressed in different ways in every culture and is unique to the individual. The British and Italians were more likely to approve of the expression of tension and anger in the face of relationships, Indonesians were more likely to accept a person to remain silent and hide their feelings when angry with their boss, but Australians were also more likely to approve of one’s expressing anger.
When we look at our country, we see that people, starting from childhood (boys are not afraid, they do not cry; girls do not get angry, etc.) exhibit attitudes towards suppressing emotions. This starts in childhood and continues into adulthood, often causing many people to be confused about emotions. It is understood that some people do not recognize their emotions or cannot decipher what they are feeling, and some people cannot express their emotions even though they recognize them. While some people reject certain emotions, others accept that emotions are something to be ashamed of and a sign of weakness.
We should know that the better we know our feelings, the better we will know ourselves, and we can make sense of the situation we live in and express ourselves more easily. This increases our perspective on events and our ability to solve our problems. It is often thought that emotions are often the reason why people come to counseling. In the counseling process, the focus is mostly on the thoughts and feelings of the person, and it is aimed to discover his own feelings and to raise awareness. Being able to express one’s feelings also causes a strong sense of relaxation. Because if the individual cannot make sense of and express his feelings, he may feel lethargic, lazy, depressed, angry and anxious.
Distinguishing and Identifying Emotional States
Generally, in our interviews, we see that children, young people and adults have difficulties in describing their emotions and cannot get rid of five or six basic emotion concepts. He comes with the awareness that there are things that are not right in his life, but he cannot express his situation with what he feels comfortably. Recognizing and talking about his feelings becomes a new experience for him. For this reason, it will be a great advantage for you to be aware of your own feelings and to understand and explain the problem you are experiencing. For this, a person must distinguish and recognize emotional states, accept the existence of this emotion, and then learn to express it.
We have a wide variety of emotions. We use words and moods to describe emotion (I’m fine-bad, etc.), but we should know that words sometimes mask much more intense and different emotions. Words don’t always represent our core emotions, and it’s often assumed that there are deeper underlying emotions. For this reason, we should not think that emotions consist of only one color with ordinary and limited expressions. Emotions are not one color. There are different colors on the right and left. For example: Feeling of happiness, joy-joy-happiness-peace-excitement It contains many emotions, such as colors, that is, feelings and meanings. But it is generally used with the thought that many emotions have the same meaning when we look at it. For example; Jealousy and Envy, which we can count as negative emotions, are often used in the same sense. But it is not the same.
Jealousy ; While the fear of losing something one has to another person, envy ; We can say that someone else owns something that one does not have.
It is important that we be able to make this distinction. But we must not forget that emotions are rarely experienced alone. Different emotions can be experienced at the same time. It may not be possible to realize the emotions we experience all of a sudden. We must pause and try to understand ourselves so that the emotions associated with many interactions and situations can be identified.
Proposal: You can start with your family, your children or yourself by taking a piece of paper and writing the basic emotions -Happiness-Anger-Fear, etc. By becoming aware of your finer emotions, you will realize how many rich varieties of these emotions exist. You can research the difference between these feelings and discuss them by talking. In addition, with this awareness you have gained, you can improve yourself by noting how you feel about the situations you experience during the day.
Naming your feelings prevents them from accumulating deep and appearing in disfigured form after a long time. Because we know that suppressed and unexpressed emotions may one day try to express themselves in a different way and manifest themselves with diseases. For this reason, it is important for parents to both learn and teach them to recognize and express their emotions in their relationships with their children.