When each of us thinks about our sweet worries and dreams before marriage, of course, not a single letter of divorce has crossed our minds. We dream of good days and we start marriage with these feelings. However, when we look at it, we see that one out of every five marriages in our country ends in divorce.
Of course, couples in the process of making the divorce decision, which does not happen like our mechanical definitions; may face serious difficulties with the weight of many emotions such as anger, insecurity, self-blame. The psychological support process, which is important at each stage, can sometimes save the marriage union, and sometimes plays an important role in making healthy decisions about the divorce process and after. If we explain a little more before, during and after the divorce;
The pre-divorce period is perhaps the most important period in terms of marital union. It is a period when nothing is over yet, and questions such as “Am I making a wrong decision, is it very difficult for us to continue this way, am I being selfish” are frequently asked in the minds of the parties. It usually includes a professional, collaborative intervention such as re-evaluation and restructuring of the marital union, together with the application of the person (usually women) who thinks that the marital union has been shaken.
When we look at the divorce process, the most turbulent and the most psychological wear is the period during the divorce. Legal applications were made for the difficult decision, some marriages began to live separately and the difficult “I want to divorce” process was entered. Here, we can see situations where material expectations and calculations are made, all experiences are started to be accounted for, and sometimes it comes to the point of revenge. In particular, children may be seen as a weapon for the parties and may be the victim of a showdown between two individuals. In this period, it should not be forgotten that the trouble and conflict experienced is between the husband and wife, without causing the children to be traumatized.
After the divorce, although the first thing that comes to mind is that there will be a great feeling of comfort after such difficult processes, we see that this is not always the case. Many factors such as financial concerns, a new life and social environment, living apart from the child if any, or the difficulties of raising it alone can cause difficulties even for a certain period of time. Another point that should not be overlooked for children is to pay attention to the establishment of a personal relationship. The child should contact the parent that he is not under custody and should not be a victim of the process.
The point to remember is that no divorce is the end of life, nor is it the beginning of a worse process. However, as in every period of our lives, it should not be ignored that there is something to be done in a marriage that does not go well, and that the process can be overcome in a shorter and healthier way with a psychological support.