Divorce is the most stressful, traumatic process with the ups and downs of emotions you’ve ever experienced, if your partner, not you, wants it. It is already difficult to break up, especially if this separation is the end of a marriage. Of course, everyone is different and experiences different emotions. However, whoever you are and whichever party wants the divorce, the lives of both parties change radically, especially if you are not the one who wants the divorce. Everyone dreams of a lifelong union when they get married. Every married couple thinks that love will be enough to overcome every difficulty. But it is disappointing to see that love is not enough to sustain a relationship, a marriage.
You know, the first stage is the grieving process. The mourning brought about by the end of a long-lasting relationship is a period in which the negative experiences and emotions of the past are tried to be calmed and softened, as well as experiencing the inevitable emotional accompaniment of separation and the end of a period of life. However, once this process is handled correctly, you can look to the future.
For some, this grief process is shorter, for others it takes longer. But there is no separation without the grieving process. In order to avoid this grieving process, you can hit yourself to work, travel, eat, drink or put a false smile on your face, but all of these will not make you go through the grieving process without experiencing it, you will just postpone the stage, that’s all. Know that in order to maintain your mood health in the long term, you must live and complete your absolute grieving process now or after divorce.
Every change, transformation is painful. It’s not just love that slips away from you. Love leaves its place to many other emotions, pain, loneliness, anxiety, sadness, anger and of course guilt. You may want to withdraw into your own world for a while, that’s normal, don’t be hard on yourself. Name your feelings. Accept them. Do not suppress, do not reject, so that your healing process begins. Do not continue this process indefinitely. Of course, take your time. Then slowly start taking steps to get back to your old self. For example, take off your sweatpants, pull your jeans, go out. Stop listening to the music that makes you cry, go to the balcony, listen to the birdsong, take deep breaths. Or leave the easy chips and prepare a rich breakfast for yourself, have breakfast with pleasure. Whatever you do, be proud of yourself that you are slowly starting to heal.
Have people you can trust around you, get support from your environment. Family and friends specializing in separation and divorce are excellent choices, especially if they have experienced divorce and have gone through the process before you. It is a great chance to have those who listen to you sincerely, as it is in every period. The support given by family and friends is very different. But it would be a very good idea to get professional support during this change process. If you did not receive such support before the divorce, it is time for such support after the divorce. The professional support you will receive in order to try to overcome the process on your own and not to lead you to the wrong places will enable you to manage the process correctly and create a healthy, good and enjoyable new life for yourself.
Focus on your physical and mental health. Eat healthier, move outdoors. If the process is more challenging than you expected, consider seeking professional help. Nourish your body and soul. Take a good look at them. You know, both your body and your soul are tired in the process. With the professional support you will receive, you choose not to be stuck and move on with your life. In the decisions you need to make to get past the hardest part of the grieving process and start your healing process, tell yourself aloud that your reckoning with the past is over and you are ready to start building your future. Share this decision with your friends so that they can support you when you need it.
In your recovery process, you should plan and energetically take action on what you can do to take care of yourself after a divorce. Your regret for getting divorced may continue for a while. But know that life is already starting to offer you exciting new possibilities.
Create a new routine. Discover new activities that will make you feel good and add them to the new routine of your life. Anyway, now it’s up to you to proactively shape your life.
Create a new social circle for yourself. Many married couples form a common social circle over time. After the divorce, this social circle disintegrates after a while, if not immediately. Your old colorful social life suddenly turns upside down. Now is the time to create a new social circle. Meet new people, whether at the gym, doing a new hobby or outdoor activities.
Think about what you learned from the entire process of marriage and divorce. It is a fact that we learn a lot in our lives, not only from good experiences, but also from bad ones. Although your divorce has caused a lot of emotional turmoil, know that your hardships are not in vain. Of course, you were not in a position to think about how what you experienced during your divorce process would benefit you, but now you can deal with the gains of the process. You have seen how you behaved in crisis processes and in one way or another, crisis processes also passed. Look back at your marriage, see what you did wrong, where your choices were problematic. All of these will be the cornerstones for you to make healthy and right choices in the next part of your life and to establish relationships that will make you healthy and happy.
Turn your face to the future. Look ahead to heal and move on with life. If you want to talk about your experiences at the beginning of the divorce process, to express your feelings. These conversations are good for you. Catharsis (Purification is a therapeutic way to remove disappointments, negative emotions that affect your health, and conflicts that hinder your progress. It can be explained as a method of “emptying” negative emotions.). It has a healing effect in the grieving process. Let the grieving process end, don’t get stuck at this stage, move forward. Allow yourself to heal. Let negative feelings such as blame, anger, hatred, resentment, sadness and anxiety remain in the grieving process and do not prevent you from moving on to the healing process. Although you have been disappointed with your dreams and hopes, you are now ready for new dreams and new hopes. Never give up. Find new dreams, new hopes for yourself.
forgive me. Forgiveness will heal you and enable you to move forward. Forgiveness and forgiveness must first be defined correctly. Forgiveness does not mean to excuse or justify your partner if you have hurt your ex. Anger, hatred, blame, self-pity bind you to your ex just as you continue to love him. To forgive, to forgive is to refer your ex-partner to life. Do it for yourself, not for your ex. Forgiveness sets you free. Remember, your negative emotions are just as valuable as your positive ones. Do not distribute your negative emotions so generously.