Distrust Chart

We may all occasionally suspect that someone else is not playing up cards and might want to take advantage of us or harm us in some way. If you have developed a distrust/abuse scheme, this fear is more persistent and is likely to kick in your defenses quickly. There may be a conscious or subconscious expectation that other people are a source of danger; may harm, abuse, manipulate, humiliate, deceive, or otherwise harm.

If you are wondering if the distrust/abuse schema resonates with you, here are some questions to consider:

Do you find it difficult to take what someone says at face value?

Do you find it difficult to trust people?

Are you skeptical of people’s intentions, especially if they are behaving well?

Do you find it difficult to let your guard down with people?

Do you have the feeling that people are trying to take advantage of you?

Do you always feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick?

Do you feel that people you trusted in the past turned their backs on you?

Do you have an expectation that people close to you are more likely to harm you?

If you generally answer no to most of these questions, you are unlikely to develop a distrust/abuse scheme. If you think the distrust/abuse schema applies to you, start observing when it pops up in your daily life. Recognition is key to changing the patterns that prevent you from achieving your goals.

If you have the Distrust Scheme, your partner is likely to have the following characteristics:

  • He will do anything, including lying and cheating, to get what he wants. Sadistic and cruel takes pleasure in seeing you or other people suffer

  • When he drinks too much, he can lose control.

  • He uses your weaknesses to his advantage.

  • He has anger that scares you. (He is very irritable)

  • He humiliates you in front of your friends and family.

  • He is cheating on you (taking lovers behind your back).

  • Inconsistent, taking advantage of your generosity.

  • He constantly criticizes you, belittles you, makes you feel worthless. He doesn’t respect what you need.

  • It constantly checks your accounts on social media. (Last seen time, Facebook Posts, Instagram likes, etc.)

  • He physically attacks you when you don’t do what he wants.

  • He forces you to have sex even when you don’t want to.

  • He will do anything, including lying and cheating, to get what he wants.

Type of Therapy in People with Loss of Confidence;

The main goal in therapy is to help you accept that many, if not all, people are trustworthy and act accordingly.

Our schemas are formed as a result of negative memories of our childhood and adolescence. Even if these negative experiences are in the past, their emotional effects follow us. The emotional traces of our lives affect our choices negatively. Here, we can easily answer the question whether we can reset our schemas, there is no way we can forget our negative memories, I don’t think it is necessary. But we can reset the negative emotional burdens of those experiences on us. In other words, the event we lived in the past stays there, but we can get rid of the heavy burdens on us in our adult life by reinterpreting that event and looking at those experiences from other windows.

Once your schema has healed, you will be able to distinguish between trustworthy and untrustworthy. You have the courage to open yourself up and take risks; In this way, you can develop a more close and reliable friendship relationship. You realize that you have brought your childhood experiences into your present life and you stay away from it.

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