Deception, Loyalty, Devotion

In recent days, we often come across deception and deception posts on social media. The concept of cheating has a very broad meaning. Situations such as lying, not knowing or not telling, not fulfilling one’s promise, having emotional relations with others other than the person with whom he has an emotional relationship, flirting with more than one person, having sexual intimacy with someone other than the person he is with are included in the definition of cheating. But in general, the deception that occupies our minds is emotional and physical deception. So why would a person cheat on a loved one with someone else? There are many researches done on this subject. The neurobiological ones among these researches are those that include vasopressin and oxytocin hormones in both sexes in recent years. These hormones are also given names such as commitment and loyalty hormones. Studies have shown that people with normal or higher levels of these hormones live monogamously, and people with low levels have an increased tendency to cheat. In neuroimaging studies, especially in men, monogamous and polygamous men showed the same degree of arousal in the brain (especially in the occipital region) to sexual stimuli, while differences in responses to romantic stimuli were observed. It has been shown that the brains of monogamous men are more responsive to romantic stimuli. In the light of these researches, you can get an idea about the future of your relationship by doing brain imaging and hormone analysis to the person you will be with. But will this be a completely correct guess? Of course it won’t. Otherwise, these analyzes can become like relationship horoscopes. The nature of cheating in relationships is not determined by hormones and the brain alone. Before, at the beginning and the course of the relationship, they are all part of this process. The experiences that a person has gained since childhood, the life events he encounters will affect all his future relationships psychologically. It will not be so easy for a child who has witnessed cheating in his own family in the past, to be able to move forward in his own relationships when he grows up. It is quite possible that a person who has experienced the trauma of being cheated on will take a skeptical attitude in their later relationships. Is cheating human nature? Or does the fear of being deceived push us to this nature? Our existence drags us to the nature of being connected and having relationships in order not to be alone. Why, then, does an organism that wants to be attached engage in an act of deception by behaving otherwise? Being abandoned brings fear of attachment; fear of attachment breeds fear of loss; The person who does not want to face the fear of losing refuses to be attached and as a result tries to break himself off from that relationship spiritually before the attachment takes place. Thus, the act of deception takes place. When we look at it from this point of view, the act of cheating is not a valid action for the moment. Cheating is not a human nature. Cheating already has a nature of its own. In this nature, there are attachment problems that the person has experienced in the past. In fact, the idea of ​​cheating arises at the very moment of attachment. Its action may take place much later. As I said, deception is not a situation specific to that moment, in fact, it has already happened spiritually long, long ago.

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