Couples Therapy and Cheating Behavior

The concept of marriage is a concept that is shaped according to the norms of societies in every society and its definition includes differences. However, as a general definition, marriage is a contract approved by the society. (Özugurlu, 1985) This contract, which includes the approval of the society, takes shape between two people on the axis of the cultural values ​​drawn by the societies and brings certain boundaries with it.

According to another definition, marriage is a system with various social norms in which a man and a woman come together for certain purposes and both have legal obligations. (Ozguven, 2014)

Marriage is also a cultural institution when it is considered in terms of its boundaries, rules and meanings (Çavuşoğlu, 2011). This cultural institution not only carries the traces of the society, geography and history in which it lives, but also contains the traces of universal values ​​at certain points.

Marriage, as an institution that makes it official that two people dream of being happy with each other in the long term, brings certain obligations along with it, and obligations come to the fore at the point of protecting this institution. The obligation of loyalty emerges as the most important issue in the protection of the institution of marriage. (Kubat, 2012)

Today, many pictures emerge in which the obligation of loyalty in marriage disappears. The most common of these tables is the deception behavior that occurs when one or both of the parties violate the loyalty obligation.

Cheating behavior has been the subject of study of mental health specialists with the traumatizing picture it causes and many psychological disorders that develop along with it, and it has been a subject on which many researches have been carried out. Of course, it is not possible to determine the exact cause of cheating behavior. However, in the light of both statistical data and the mental problems that develop after cheating, many researches on cheating have been done and continue to be done.

The results of research on deception are quite diverse. However, the factors that cause deception have been gathered under certain headings as a result of various studies. It is possible to examine the factors that pave the way for cheating behavior under 3 main headings. These are listed as individual causes, external causes and reasons arising from the relationship (Dorff, 2008).

Intrinsic causes, as the name suggests, are the causes of the individual’s own nature, but they also bring reflections of external causes at many points.

Attributions made for social norms and social roles reflect on individuals at some point, and this reflection is effective in shaping internal causes.

External reasons, on the other hand, are a much broader concept and many socio-cultural subheadings such as the perspective towards cheating in the society, the gender-related reactions to cheating under the influence of gender, economic reasons and the power balance they create in marriage are gathered under this broad heading.

When external reasons are examined and a determination is made on the basis of genders, it is stated that women tend to cheat emotionally and men tend to cheat sexually, which is one of the types of cheating (Bayar, 2015).

Based on this research in the literature, it can be said that there are two separate roles for marriage in society based on gender.

In the institution of marriage, sexuality is the center of the role that is set for the man, and the main satisfaction point is sexuality, while for the woman, the main satisfaction point of marriage is emotional processes.

These two separate results bring about two different genders’ approach to marriage from different perspectives, and many times, both parties do not fully understand their expectations from each other in marital conflict.

The inability of both parties to understand each other in marriage ignites the discussions that enter a vicious circle at the point of solving the problems, and as a result of these discussions, both parties are worn out.

Worn out parties seek to get satisfaction from the points where they cannot get satisfaction, and with the effect of unresolved problems, one or sometimes both parties apply various problem-solving methods in order to get satisfaction. As can be seen, cheating is a solution applied by the parties in order to achieve the expected satisfaction, although it is not appropriate in the society and in the institution of marriage.

At this point, the importance of couple therapy is of key importance in terms of increasing marital satisfaction and understanding the expectations of two separate partners based on gender, cultural perception and gender roles.

It offers couple therapy as a pioneering solution to repair many relationships without wearing out, so that men and women can see their expectations from each other and the knotted points through a common lens.

Couple therapy is of vital importance in illuminating the perceptions that cause the institution of marriage to wear out and shaped under the influence of external causes, revealing the gender outline in the minds of the partners and presenting a concrete picture of the expectations from marriage that develops in the axis of these.

The importance of couple therapy is seen concretely in the analysis of the emergence processes of the deception-prone behaviors of the partners resulting from the lack of satisfaction and in the emergence of the deception behavior aimed at satisfying satisfaction.

Couple therapy plays a protective role in preventing the mistakes that the parties will make in the process of seeking satisfaction, but also plays an important role in increasing the quality of marriage by preventing possible attrition.

Couple therapy emerges as a support that should be taken not only when the problems come up with concrete examples, but if the factors that will cause the problem are included in the relationship.

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