The birth of a baby and being a family are a source of happiness for many people, as well as the care of the baby, the responsibilities that come with life with a baby, and the anxieties of transitioning to the role of mother and father. For parents with twin babies, this is twice as likely.
Whether it’s a fraternal twin or an identical twin, every baby is a different world. Often times, “oh how similar are you or are you a twin?”, “do you have the same feelings because you’re a twin?”, “does the other really get upset when one of you is upset?” the perceptions imposed on them by the society due to being twins, the sense of sameness; can be an obstacle to individualisation.
What to Consider as a Family of Twins
Having twins is no different than having a child with an older sister/brother or sibling. Whether they are identical twins or fraternal twins, your children have different personalities, even if they have similar characteristics.
Although they are twins, their developmental processes may differ from each other. Therefore, evaluate each of your children in their own development process and guide them according to their personality and abilities.
Your children will have different personality traits as well as different individuals. The other may not be interested in the area that one is good at, the food that one likes, the other may not like, the activity that one likes, and the other may not like it. Therefore, it is a big mistake to compare siblings with each other and to think that because they are twins, all their common tastes, achievements and likes will be the same.
It is natural for twins to be jealous of each other, to be jealous of their parent from the other twin. This situation, which is seen even among siblings with an age difference, can also be seen in twin siblings. Take care to take care of both of them equally, rather than paying less attention because one sibling wants their parent more, but the other sibling does not.
Do not insist that they be the same. Although they are twins, considering them as two siblings born back to back; Remember that they may have different needs, desires, demands and expectations in life.
One of the challenges of being a twin is feeling like two people have to do everything. It is important to support twins in their individual processes and to recognize individual space. Being able to spend time separately as a mother and father alternately, dressing in different clothes instead of wearing the same clothes, calling them by their names instead of being called twins, ensuring that they have their own belongings, recognizing separate areas, recognizing a choice area when they reach the age they can choose are important for individualization.
When they reach school age; Being in different classes is important in terms of socializing, making different friendships, and being individualized and not dependent on each other.
Do not forget that; your children’s characters, expectations from life, desires, interests and achievements are different from each other. It brings dependence as well as the desire to be the same, to be one, to do everything together. Your duty is to contribute to the individualization of your children and support their independence and progress according to their interests and abilities.