Infidelity, which is a kind of violation of the boundaries of marriage, whether it is an open or assumed situation, means the breaking of promises and the destruction of dreams. As mentioned before, infidelity has an important place among the reasons for the deterioration of marital life and divorce. Although it doesn’t always result in divorce, cheating always affects relationships, and for most couples, the impact is negative and painful.
Men’s suspicion of their spouses cheating on them sexually or being aware of the existence of an extramarital affair can sometimes pave the way for domestic violence and sexual coercion.
In addition to behavioral consequences such as cheating and aggression, it brings with it a combination of various distressing emotions such as sadness, anger, anxiety, shame, revenge, hurt, jealousy and embarrassment. In the cheated spouse, it stimulates feelings such as the threat of abandonment, separation anxiety, generalized anxiety and can cause old fears to reappear, and it makes the spouse feel that he is not in control of his destiny, and it is humiliating. Although the painful feelings that arise in deception are intense at the beginning for some, they disappear over time, and for some, they leave permanent scars in the self-concept of the person. However, it can be said that the pain caused by the experience of cheating cannot be completely erased, it is hidden somewhere in the past, and even in people who seem to have digested this event, the triggering situations can remind old pains.
The way cheating is learned seems to play a role in the effect of the event on the relationship. Accordingly, catching the spouse in the event of cheating and learning the existence of the cheating relationship from another person are the types of learning that create the most negative results in relationship quality and are the most difficult to forgive. Compared to these, learning about the existence of cheating by asking questions about the relationship is less damaging to the quality of the relationship, but learning in this way is also more damaging than the cheater’s spontaneous confession. As for evaluating the way she learned about the cheating relationship as a reason for ending the relationship, spontaneous confession of the spouse is the type of learning that ends the relationship the least. Learning with the help of a third person after catching the spouse is usually the type of learning that has the most devastating effect on the relationship.
Learning the relationship of cheating can also pave the way for the emergence of problems in a wider environment other than the person being cheated on. For example, it can cause serious suffering in children, extended family, friends, and people in a cheating relationship. Even if children do not openly learn about the existence of cheating, they can react to this situation by noticing the change in the climate at home.
Cheating can lead to negative situations on the cheating party as well as on the cheated spouse. The cheating spouse experiences feelings of loss and shame at the same time because he is stigmatized and faces serious judgment.