Communication in adolescence

Adolescence is a period full of conflicts for both children and parents. While adolescents are trying to adapt to their new body, changing mind and perceptions, parents watch all these changes with surprise and retest their place in their children’s lives and try to understand.

In a study on adolescence infancy during the period; While too much attention, wanting to be with them, touching, singing, total acceptance is the foundation of the parent-baby relationship, this in primary school;It has been found that it continues as a process that includes being involved in their life, following how school is going, helping with homework, soft feedback, limited freedom and limitations. in high school the situation is completely changing. If you have a child going to high school, excessive rules, restraint, supervision, limited praise, harsh criticism, focusing on how their friends are may become key concerns.

While pre-adolescent parents are perceived as helpful and caring, they perceive them as intrusive, suspicious and controlling during adolescence.

When our little baby is born, he is in need of protection and dependent on us, but is he a teenager? It seeks independence, it will grow as it moves away from us…

The families of my adolescent clients often complain that they do not know how to communicate with their children, most often there are problems with boundaries. Where should the adolescent stop or be stopped? While they ask what they should and shouldn’t do, they often ask what they need. pill“. They want to find a solution immediately.

If you have a child in adolescence, your first priority should be healthy communication. Communication is not just hearing. is to listen“You may stop and ask questions from time to time while listening, but the purpose of these questions should be to try to understand. The moment your child feels that you are judging them, they will move away from you. Listening to what they have to say is not about accepting or rejecting. Just that can be transformative when you convey your understanding to them.

If speaking is forced, resistance is inevitable. He may not want to talk about a sensitive subject when you want, so timing is also important.

Be yourself when talking to your child. adultBe friends with children. When a teenager watches an adult behaving like a young child, he loses the adult model he needs for the transition to adulthood.

Ask questions that encourage answers. “Why are you so stubborn?” It is a question that no one wants to answer. It pushes the other person to defend.

Let your child talk. It is difficult for a teenager to talk to an adult, and often even harder to talk to their parents. But it is even more difficult if the parent is talking non-stop.

Avoid lecturing. Open up your emotions, describe what you’re feeling, what makes you angry or agitated. Start with “I” and end with “I feel” when forming sentences.

If you are going to talk about a behavior that you do not find right, do this by comparing your child with the features you like. Starting with positive words makes it easier for the adolescent to open himself up.

Their idealism and their political ideas mess up. They don’t want you to agree with them, actually. They want to use their newly developed ability to think abstractly. Respect them.

Whatever the problem is, just talk to him/her, not a friend or sibling. Respect your child’s trust in you.

If you are having a serious problem, definitely share it with your spouse. The main reason for the problems between spouses regarding children is often confidentiality. If the issue is so important that you need to share it with your spouse, let your child tell it and state that you will support while you talk about the issue.

Don’t blame yourself when you think you’re doing your best and everything isn’t going well. Your child may want to distance himself, give him time. Trying too hard can stop communication. Give him time to think.

Adolescents should have gained values ​​that will help them in the outside world while moving away from the protection of their family. These values ​​should be able to guide them in controlling and managing their own impulses. Self-management should actually be taught to the child before adolescence. It means you have done your duty.

Calm down…

As we liberate them, we grow a little bit more… We learn again…

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