Cinderella Complex

“You know what I want? Good luck to the person I’m going to marry. Let me work too, but for pleasure, not out of necessity”, “I work until I have a child after marriage anyway”, “One day my life will change/be saved” These are the words of the cindrellas around us…

So what is this Cinderella Complex? As we remember from the fairy tale, while poor Cinderella lives a very bad life, the handsome prince who emerges pulls Cinderella out of this difficult life and they live happily. In real life, women expect their lives to be saved by a savior, just like in this fairy tale. It will be easier to understand the emergence of this situation if we take a glance at the past. The perception that women are always naive, fragile, in need of protection and care, and as a result, families’ overprotective and oppressive approach to their children, instead of teaching them to take responsibility and take risks, lays the foundations for being Cinderella. However, with gender role inequalities—female job/male job distinctions—and marriage—as a bonus, having children—as a social achievement, our cinderellas are becoming an extension of their prince. Of course, we do not realize it much in daily life, since all these work in our unconscious, not at the conscious level. But I can list a few features for those of you who think, “Is it me?” I can say that I don’t have enough confidence in taking responsibility and risk, fear of failure, fear of being free – I’m talking about the responsibility of your whole life – and therefore the feeling of peace and security created by being under the wings of a man. If you caught yourself reading these features, remember that; This syndrome, which pacifies women, is nothing more than the verbal rules imposed on us from past to present, and it is certainly possible to change it.

Finally, don’t let these words be perceived as never marry, have a man in your life, or have children. What I’m trying to tell you is that you shouldn’t fall into the misconception that reaching these goals means success, and a man’s main duty should be a life partner who supports you while you are already doing these, instead of being a savior prince who finances you.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *