Cheating in Romantic Relationships and Marriages

People who have needs such as love, attention and living together have always needed another person to meet these basic needs. For this reason, people have experienced close relationships or love, and as a result, there has been the existence of third parties involved in their relationships from time to time.

“Why do people cheat?” Various studies conducted to find the answer to the question show that; In at least 20-25% of marriages, people cheat on their partner at least once. Although this rate varies from culture to culture, the general opinion is that extramarital affairs have a history as long as human history and are quite common in societies.

Although the underlying causes of cheating are tried to be explained by various theories, generally accepted approaches show that the two main factors underlying cheating are gender and marital satisfaction. However, it is also observed that the reasons for cheating between men and women are different from each other. While women mostly cheat for “love”, it has been determined that the main reason behind men’s cheating is “sexuality”.

Studies show that; women do not easily deceive the men they decide to spend their lives with. However, women who know or feel that their spouse is cheating on them, who have suffered physical or emotional violence in their marriage, who are neglected and abused by their spouses, also cheat on their spouses at least as much as men. However, social pressure, labeling, exclusion, life safety, etc. For some reason, they feel the need to hide this situation. If women cheat, they usually become attached to the other person and gradually move away from their spouses. In other words, emotional attachment cannot be maintained with both men at the same time.

However, men can easily express cheating because they sometimes perceive cheating as a source of pride, a way to prove themselves, a matter of score, and the society adopts a more permissive attitude. From a social point of view, it is considered an unforgivable situation for a woman to cheat on her husband, while a man’s cheating is justified and shown as innocent. For this reason, women either share the cheating event with a very close person or keep it as a “secret” until it is revealed.

This situation is expressed as a difficulty in the studies carried out. In addition, studies show that it is the “sexuality” aspect of the job that actually hurts the cheating spouse.

Cheating is very destructive for the person being cheated on, and it is stated in some studies that the pain experienced by the cheated person is equivalent to the pain experienced as a result of the loss of a loved one. However, it is stated that the deceived person may experience depression due to the trauma experienced after the deception, and accordingly emotional processes such as tantrums, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, and the desire to take revenge may be experienced.

Men become more angry when they are cheated on and 94% of them do not accept this situation and prefer the way of divorce. Compared to women, men who are cheated on hide this situation from their surroundings because their masculinity is hurt and they retaliate right after the cheating.

After being cheated on, the person perceives himself as worthless, inadequate, uninteresting and disliked. The person who thinks that he has been wronged does not want to touch his wife and may be emotionally distant from his partner. After cheating, some spouses may decide to continue by reconsidering their relationship with the earthquake caused by this situation. Sometimes, this situation can cause the existing problem in the relationship to be reviewed and resolved, and the relationship to gain a new momentum.

Deception behavior, which is generally not welcomed and considered shameful in societies, is also common in Turkish society, which has a more closed and traditional structure recently.

The woman, who is a part of society and has a structure that dedicates herself to her family and serves, is in an effort to realize herself today. This situation causes people’s desire to continue their relationship to be related to the satisfaction they get from the relationship, and in a sense, cheating is normalized in today’s conditions.

The evaluations show that; There is not much research on this subject, which is closely related to our society. In order to ensure the continuity of our traditional social structure and to raise healthy and happy generations at the same time, it is thought that the social and psychological dimension of the event should be evaluated very well by examining this serious increase in cheating incidents in recent years.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *