When you ask any newlywed young couple how long their marriage will last, the answer is “forever”.
But statistics show that these optimistic young people are only fooling themselves. Studies show that 40% to 50% of marriages today end in divorce.
As a marriage book author and family counselor, I would like to state that; Contrary to popular belief, what needs to be done to maintain a relationship is quite simple. In short, you do not have to plan a costly vacation to please your spouse. So, what should be done to maintain the relationship?
Remember Little Things Can Make a Big Impact!
While married and happy couples generally state that their spouses ‘feel important and special’, the same situation can be a completely utopian expectation for married and unhappy couples. Married and unhappy couples, who frequently use the phrase “You have changed a lot after marriage”, may enter the spiral of thinking about regret and divorce more frequently. However, the little things you say or do to make your spouse feel that they are cared for, loved and special are very important to keep your relationship happy and prevent divorce. ‘positive messages’ in your relationship, for example; It includes behaviors as easy as leaving a surprise note in your spouse’s pocket or massaging his shoulders after a tiring day.
Improve Your Conflict Resolution Skill!
Couples with balanced and happy relationships are more kind to each other than couples who are unhappy or separated. The solution of possible problems in every relationship is brought to the agenda in a more solution and calmer way in couples who have a happy and balanced relationship. Instead of seeing every problem as a problem that wears out their relationship, couples see every problem as a test that will strengthen their relationships that they need to overcome.
Sustainability of marriage can be counted as the way couples deal with their problems. So improve your conflict resolution skills.
Build Common Interests with Your Partner!
Discover common interests that you and your partner might enjoy doing together. Spouses cannot be expected to have common interests in all areas and to enjoy the same things. However, having common activities that spouses enjoy doing together increases their happiness.
Learn To Forgive!
Learn to forgive each other. In every marriage, from time to time, spouses may exhibit behaviors that can hurt or disappoint each other. Consider that no one is perfect in such situations. Also, remember this type of behavior you exhibit towards your spouse. This will make it easier for you to forgive. Do not forget that the negative feelings and thoughts in your mind can be reflected in your behavior and even affect the mood of the people around you and create a negative electricity in the house. Your forgiving attitude and the ability to apologize when necessary can impress and encourage your partner to do the same.
You can think of love as a flower you take into your home. If you want the flower you love so much to stay as beautiful and fragrant as it was on the first day, you know that you need to take care of it, meet its needs, even talk to it, in short, take your time with devotion. Otherwise, your flower, which you love so much, will shed its leaves and wither in time.