Peer bullying is one of the most important problems that negatively affect child psychology. Bullying is a type of aggression in which one or more children deliberately and continuously disturbs those who are weaker than themselves, and the other child is unable to protect himself. Bullying is a learned response to stress and the motivation to exert control and power over others.
According to psychotherapist Hurley, although it is difficult to empathize with the bullying child, it is useful to understand the reasons behind their behavior:
Lack of interest and parental deprivation are among the most important factors that negatively affect children. Parents of bullied children are often overly competitive and push their own children to be superior to other children. Parents are biased, always focused on competing and winning by whatever means.
Inconsistent discipline is observed in the home of the bullying child. Parents find it difficult to set boundaries and fail to hold the child responsible for their actions.
WEAK ACADEMIC SUCCESS
Some children become despondent when they struggle with their studies and cannot get help. In this case, children can express their distress with their behavior. In such cases, the child may try to take revenge on his more successful friends by bullying.
LACK OF SOCIAL SUPPORT
Lonely children who feel unloved may resort to bullying to gain some social control. Wrong perspectives make them think that controlling children is a way to have friends.
EXPOSURE TO BULLYING
Many bullied children are found to have been bullied themselves before. They try to achieve social power by imitating bullying behaviors.
LOW SELF ESTEEM
In the light of all the above items, it is concluded that children who bully have low self-confidence. The most important needs of children who practice peer bullying are to establish dominance and control over other children. These children discovered at an early age that they could lead a group, often by adopting aggressive attitudes.
Bullying children often learn the power of aggression at home or are raised with similar forms of discipline. In addition, these children often exhibit extrovert personality traits. They have structures that like to establish and maintain friendships and enjoy social relations.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS BULLYING?
Not talking about friends or school
Not bringing friends home, never going to friends
Not being invited to parties, trips, not wanting to invite any of his school friends to important meetings about him.
Not wanting to go to school, wanting to change schools, loss of appetite in the morning, constant stomachache and headache
• Not wanting to use the school bus
• Having fearful dreams, crying in sleep, wetting the bed
• Coming home from school with torn clothes or damaged books
• Having unexplained bruises on the body
• Constantly wanting to sleep
• The emergence of situations such as introversion and stuttering
• Does not want to say what problem he has
• Having a suicide attempt
• He returns hungry because his pocket money or lunch has been taken home from school.
• Constantly losing his allowance
HOW SHOULD YOU ACT IF YOUR CHILD EXHIBITS BULLYING BEHAVIOR?
• Talk calmly to your child, discussing the reasons for doing this and the negative feelings that his behavior will cause in others.
• State clearly and precisely that you do not approve of this behavior.
• Warn other family members, if any, who model such behavior.
• Appreciate, reinforce and reward when he/she obeys the rules, exhibits responsible behaviors, and performs positive behaviors.
• Make sure to cooperate with the school.
Children who are exposed to peer bullying may experience problems such as stress symptoms and depression. Especially when bullying becomes continuous, the physical and mental development process of the children who are the target may be disrupted. Parents should be careful if the child experiences regression in school success for no reason, does not want to see his friends, starts to wet the bed or increases the number of wetting, nightmares and deliriums, and loss of appetite.
WHAT CAN TEACHERS DO TO PREVENT BULLYING?
While a school administrator may not have a formal bullying prevention agenda, teachers can turn their classrooms into a safe, bully-free zone.
* Show respect and love to students.
*Let your students know that you are always available to listen and help them.
* Organizing events about bullying.
* Help them identify bullying in the classroom, in books, television shows, or movies. Discuss what the effects of this bullying might be and how it is/could be resolved.
*Organize class meetings where students can talk about bullying and peer relationships.
*Discuss what bullying is with your colleagues: Being in a group allows you to observe the school environment much better. It is necessary to talk about both bullying in general and concerns about specific students.
DUTIES FROM FAMILY
Children’s wishes should not be fulfilled by aggressive behavior
Children should be supported to develop self-confidence by giving them tasks appropriate to their social maturity.
Children should not argue with them when they are angry and angry, and after the child calms down, this situation should be discussed and evaluated together.
Families should chat with their children for sharing, not interrogation.
Families should be selective and careful about the TV programs, movies and computer games that the child watches.
Families should spend more quality time with their children, be careful and attentive to bullying behaviors.
Families should avoid reflecting on their children their desire to be popular with other friends.
Families should often seek information from their teachers about their child’s behavior and collaborate with teachers and experts on how to help their child if a problem is noted in an area.
Peer Abuse / Peer Abuse – Müjgan Alikasifoğlu
Peer Bullying – Remzi Yıldırım
Ünye RAM – What is Peer Bullying? What should be done?
Peer Abuse at School – Assoc. Dr. Taner Guvenir
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