Borderline Helplessness: Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a complex and serious mental disorder due to its severe dysfunction and high suicide risk. Borderline personality disorder, which is 3 times more common in women than men, is seen in 2% of the general population.

Individuals with BPD have difficulty controlling their impulses and regulating their emotions. They may exhibit uncontrolled tantrums, many of which result in self-harming behavior and suicide.

Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms;

  • Persistent feelings of boredom and emptiness

  • Avoidance of real or imagined abandonment

  • Connecting issues

  • Identity confusion; inconsistent sense of self

  • Impulsive behaviors that will harm oneself in at least two areas (risky sexual experiences, substance use, spending money, binge eating or purging, risky driving behavior, etc.)

  • Nervous and inconsistent relationship style (blinking between extremes of magnification and disgrace)

  • Repetitive self-harming and suicidal behaviors

  • Inconsistent and constantly fluctuating mood

  • Periodically ephemeral skeptical thinking

Considering all these symptoms, ‘Borderline Personality’ is a complex personality disorder that leads to unpredictable, colorful and dangerous relationships.

Who Is It Seen?

Biological factors and gene-environment interactions play a role. Most borderline individuals have had traumatic childhood experiences.

It is known that 50-70% of them are exposed to sexual, physical and psychological violence and neglect in childhood. Inconsistent parenting, inadequate care, early parental loss or separation are common causes. Individuals who had an insecure attachment to their caregiver during infancy may also be prone to this personality trait.

These people, whose basic mental and physical care were not adequately met in their childhood, live with their deprivation throughout their lives and feel an attraction towards those who trigger these schemas.

According to Young, there are certain schemas in every individual whether they are psychologically healthy or not. However, in individuals with borderline personality disorder, 5 of these schemas are in active mode.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder generally continue their lives in a ‘disconnected shelter’ mode.

Angry Boy Mode:In this mode, the person believes they have been wronged and may act impulsive and rebellious to get their needs met.

Abandoned – Abused Child Mode: A child who thinks he has been abandoned or abandoned by his caregivers feels insecure, lonely and helpless. He tries to be good in order not to be abandoned later in his life.

Punitive Parent Mode: The person feels that he and other individuals deserve to be blamed and punished. He feeds these feelings by blaming himself, punishing himself, or exhibiting abusive behavior.

Disconnected Protective Mod: In this mode, in order to get away from the painful feelings, the person can turn away from the people who hurt him and direct all his energy to himself, or he can turn to substances such as alcohol and drugs. This mode keeps the person away from other people and emotional attachments.

Healthy Adult Mode: Since this mode is not sufficiently developed in individuals with borderline personality disorder, it is aimed to develop this mode in therapy and to enlarge its adult side. The healthy adult mode helps a person overcome problems and cope with negative emotions.


Long-term psychotherapies may work in the treatment of borderline personality disorder, but individuals with borderline personality may overestimate their therapist, just as they do in their relationships, and then tend to devalue them. In this case, it can make it difficult for them to continue therapy in a determined and consistent manner. Once a relationship of trust has been established, psychotherapy and medication should go simultaneously. Recently, it is known that schema therapy method is also very effective in borderline personality disorder.

A borderline doesn’t come easy. It is necessary to knit stitch by stitch, trauma to the heart of a fresh person.

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