The concept that we feel lacking in sentences that start with “You don’t understand me enough” but that we can’t figure out what is missing is limited.
Healthy boundaries in interpersonal relations are a whole in which we internalize the other person to a certain extent and create our own space by separating to a certain extent.
To the extent that we internalize the person in front of us, the boundaries disappear and a healthy communication environment cannot be mentioned. Healthy interpersonal boundaries protect the self-integrity of the person.
It positively affects self-confidence and self-perception. It strengthens communication skills. It supports individuals to approach problem situations with a healthy perspective and solution-oriented.
Boundaries can be emotional, economic, sexual, physical, or temporal. Boundaries, in another sense, are the state of determining our priorities.
I’m more important than anyone else and I shouldn’t prioritize myself, but it means I’m an important person and I realize my own worth.
Since our childhood, if we have had situations where our parents thought and solved our problems for us, or if we shaped our behaviors by thinking that I should make my parents happy and not upset them, we also direct our behaviors with what the hell they say in the future, and we can become more open to border violations and emotional manipulation over time.
We can’t be sure where someone else’s borders begin, more importantly, where our borders end.
In fact, there are two basic questions we should ask ourselves when we think that our borders have been violated but we are not completely sure about it;
1. Who or what do I put in the center of my life with this behavior or thought I am doing now? 2. What would I say to my best friend if this situation happened to me right now?
Question 1 is because we often find ourselves in situations where we do not prioritize when we encounter border violations,
The second question, on the other hand, is the questions asked to make us realize that we do not act self-compassionately, criticize ourselves, and do not treat a close friend in the same way, along with emotional manipulation, when faced with a border violation situation.
Although border violation is a situation that negatively affects people’s self-efficacy, self-confidence and self-worth, it is possible to set healthy boundaries in bilateral relations with awareness.