Beware of Lack of Confidence

Psychologist Naciye Tokaç warned about the lack of self-confidence.

Psychotherapist/Family Couple and Marriage Therapist Specialist Psychologist Naciye Tokaç said, “An internal feature that is not innate but starts to develop with birth; self-confidence, which I can define as the self’s thought, is indispensable for maintaining a good, happy and balanced life. The self-concept I am talking about here is; His self-structure, his spiritual evaluation of himself, in short, is his existence. Everyone wants to have good, happy, balanced, valuable days in his life and not to have lived this life in vain. Many people complain that they have talents, that they have a lot of things to achieve, but that they do not have the courage to fail. “Here, we encounter what we call self-confidence. A person who is not confident enough says that he prefers to try, even if he tries, not to do it at all because of the fear of failure. This makes him never show his talents,” he said.

Stating that a person who cannot trust himself enough has difficulties not only in his work but also in his relations with people, Tokaç said, “For example, he cannot defend himself against his superiors at work, his parents or elders in the family, sometimes his spouse, relatives, and friends in the social environment. Worry about being judged, misunderstood or not being understood. The thought that he cannot express himself prevents him from expressing himself as he is. In this case, the person will either do everything very well and perfectly so that he can show himself to others, which allows him to expect high standards from himself. Or he continues his life by hiding himself by not acting at all. However, their self-deprecating speech continues.The person who is not self-confident feels helpless when he does not know what to do when faced with problems, he feels powerless and inept because he believes that he cannot succeed. When he wants to start a relationship, when he wants to propose to someone He thinks that he is not lovable and valuable because he believes that he will not be reciprocated and rejected. Often incompetent, does not show assertiveness because he is not someone who can influence others. “Because he feels weak and vulnerable, he doesn’t have the courage to try,” he said.

Noting that it is important for people to gain self-confidence and be able to act self-confidently, Tokaç said, “What does he see as a problem in himself the most? For example, he thinks that he can be more talented in business life, show his talents and have a better career. He thinks that he cannot express himself because he cannot show it. Here we see that the person has many negative thoughts and beliefs about himself. The first thing to do is to evaluate himself with an objective attitude so that the answer to the questions of who am I really and how much of my abilities will be analyzed in a realistic way. I can also say this about self-confidence. Not self-confidence may not be the case, it is also related to the person’s feeling of inadequacy, worthlessness and failure compared to others because he or she cannot evaluate himself objectively. No one is superior to another. Of course, always There may be someone who is smarter, smarter, more sociable, more practical, more solution-oriented. However, this does not mean that the others are inadequate. Everyone is valuable in their own inner world and existence and is different from the others. With all this I want to say; it is the necessity for everyone to accept themselves as they are, with their existence. Only then does it begin to use its existing features and to correct its deficiencies, if any. Thus, self-confidence begins to develop in the person.

Stating that the person whose self-confidence develops and who feels valuable also attains the joy of life, Tokaç said, “Because a person who is at peace with himself and loves himself will establish more positive relationships with others. In this case, it will contribute to making life a pleasurable act rather than being a necessity.”

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