Being a “woman” in the grieving process

March 8, International Women’s Day


In the loss of a relative, loved one, spouse, friend, child, we can be alone with many symptoms, especially when our loss is sudden…

In addition to emotional symptoms such as sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, hopelessness, shock, longing, numbness, feeling of emptiness in the stomach, tightness in the chest, feeling of suffocation, hypersensitivity to noise, deterioration of reality perception, inability to breathe, muscle weakness, energy physical symptoms such as loss of mouth, dry mouth; When expressing grief, we are talking about a process in which intellectual symptoms such as insecurity, disbelief in the reality of loss, confusion, excessive preoccupation with death and the deceased, and hallucinatory experiences become “normal”…
So, what happens to our women who suffer losses due to the “female” identity that passes through the filter of gender-specific role expectations and value judgments of this society, as well as the natural burdens of such a destructive process?

Let’s think about in which areas the loss of a man, who has been given a dominant role as a social status, can make the woman feel helpless and inadequate in the case of the loss of a spouse. Well, can the connotations of the label “widower” give a breath of fresh air to the old woman in this land.. Don’t we expect the joy of life, opportunities and expectations of life to be buried in the ground with the deceased, as we are familiar…

Sometimes a woman loses her baby while she is still in her womb. She inevitably dreams about her future child. He prepares his clothes, his room; She experiences the loss of her baby, which she was not yet born, could not give birth to, and for which she is sometimes blamed, without being able to breathe in her scent…
The unborn individual has no identity. No one knows him except his mother. Because they do not know him, they cannot mourn him, they cannot stand next to his mother.. There is no funeral ceremony, it is silent, the departure of the baby is a journey that deepens within his mother. He can live alone with shame and condemnation.

Grief leaves its mark on those who are most vulnerable to hurt. A woman who cannot find the opportunity, time, and understanding to experience her pain will mourn. Her physical symptoms will continue, maybe since then, she will have problems with her heart that she cannot understand. Things that she used to laugh and enjoy will no longer be unpleasant for her. On the surface, his body will be hardened, his face will remain dull. Maybe the doctor will visit the doctor for his pain.

Hoping to see brighter tomorrows where “the mourning process” and the “women” experiences are more understandable.

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