One of the most difficult issues for families is their children’s aggressive behavior. Aggressive behaviors, which usually start around 2-3 years of age, are exhibited until long ages if precautions are not taken. Bad temper; It manifests itself with behaviors such as anger, insistence, stubbornness, holding on, aggressive behaviors, hurting, crying spells, opposing, not reconciling. When it comes to such behaviors, parents should act jointly and avoid situations and discourses that reinforce the behaviors they think are wrong with the child. For example; Children who speak rudely at a young age should not be laughed at or they should stay away from sentences that support behavior such as “He is small, let him do what he wants”. Every behavior that the child does not behave correctly should be explained about why it is not right and what consequences he will face if this behavior continues should be conveyed to the child.
One of the most important reasons for the continuation or emergence of vicious behavior in children is that the answers of the parents are inconsistent with each other. When one of the parents says “no” and the other “yes”, the child cannot develop a healthy behavior, he believes that a family member will support him in his wrong behaviors and continues the behavior. For this reason, parents should first review their attitudes towards the child and change the problematic attitudes. In this process, it is recommended that family members do not blame each other, but should deal with the problem in a constructive way. Family elders (grandmother, paternal grandmother, grandfather, etc.) In cases where unavoidable behavioral problems are struggled, the point that family elders should pay attention to is that they should not engage in behaviors that go beyond the boundaries of parents. For example; While parents teach the child that hurting his friends is wrong, grandparents should not be supportive of hitting. Otherwise, the child does not listen to his parents, ignores their rules. When he does not do the right thing, he trusts that there are people to support him and he continues to exhibit the wrong behavior. It would be difficult to break this cycle. Mothers and fathers should set boundaries well and act accordingly, and family elders should not go beyond the rules set by their parents. The rules set for the child are also important here. Rules in which only the parents’ feelings are prioritized, there is an authoritarian structure, and the child’s feelings are not taken into account, cause the child to rebel and display vicious behaviors.
When children act aggressively, sometimes families become unable to control the situation and the child becomes angry, blaming and shouting behaviors. Getting angry or blaming the child does not make the child understand the situation better, on the contrary, it reinforces the behavior. When faced with such a situation, you should remain calm and not be stubborn with the child. You can explain the inappropriate behavior, but the explanation should not be so long as to confuse or distract the child. Clear and understandable expressions should be used.
The child, who is described as vicious by his family and environment, loses his self-confidence, blames himself and sees himself as inadequate compared to other children. For this reason, when you notice that your child is exhibiting aggressive behavior, getting support from child mental health specialists and helping him get through the process will benefit the solution of this problem in your child in a healthy way.