Ascertivity: Functional Communication

Especially in communication situations where strong emotions such as anger and resentment are active, our reactions are based on three main behavioral patterns.

The first of these is to give “passive” reactions to the situation.

As such, we find it difficult to articulate what the situation makes us think and feel;

Even when our own demands, interests, and rights are at stake, we adapt, yield, or ignore the situation and avoid triggered emotions.

As the number and frequency of situations to which we react passively increases, this behavior can now be characterized in a persistent way.

Thus, we may face consequences such as expression disorders, not being able to say no, not drawing boundaries, low self-esteem and self-esteem, and self-blame.

The second, on the contrary, is to take an “aggressive” position and react to the situation with the dominance of emotions and impulses.

As a result, aggressive interaction, like passive interaction, is not functional, even if we have expressed our rights, demands or interests.

Because this time, the individual who concentrates too much on himself violates the rights, wishes, feelings and thoughts of the other party.

So much so that, depending on the extent of the anger, physical or mostly psychological violence may also come into play in the aggressive interaction.

As a matter of fact, emotion and thought cannot be transferred in a “functional” way with these two reactions.

What did we say, three main behaviors!

Thus, a third construct, which is right between the passive and aggressive response we mentioned above, is “acertivity.”

To put it simply, assertiveness (also called assertiveness) is when one expresses one’s feelings, thoughts, needs, and rights, while ignoring others by neither making “aggressive” threats; nor does it allow others to ignore their rights and needs in a “passive”, timid and submissive role.

In other words, it is to convey whatever you want to express to the other party in a direct, safe, honest and appropriate way.

While the message transmitted by asertif communication reaches the other party,

This is not possible in aggressive and passive interaction.

Because as a result of intense aggression, a high tone of voice, low empathy, and self-centered approach can only result in sanction.

On the other hand, the arrogant and obedient person either could not express the message or took avoidant attitudes that were ignored.

Therefore, in order to convey what we want to convey and to generate understanding and empathy, the best communication takes place with assertiveness.

Observe yourself this week.

Just find out what kind of behavior you do more often in such situations, without judging them or jumping into their comments.

Awareness is always the first step.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *