Are We Really Connected?

When we think of connecting, all sorts of things come to mind, I’m sure. We call it to be attached to a person, a living thing, an object, an event, a moment, and the name of all our feelings. We love it, its name is to connect, we can’t give up, its name is to connect again. Even when we sing a meal that we love very much in the same place, we get out of business by saying ‘I am tied up’. We have named every emotion in us that activates us and gives us enthusiasm. Let’s see if we’re really doing it right? Attachment according to psychology; It is defined as the tendency of an individual to expect closeness from another person and to feel safe when this person is with him. In other words, this concept, which we refer to every stirring and feeling of not being able to give up, covers only people. Because we love it so much, we always say the same pasta in the same place because we are a bit fond of our stomach.

Attachment, as defined in psychology, tells us not to see the person in front of us as individuals who will only meet our needs, and accepts this. As soon as we feel attached to someone, we see the other person as individuals who have to do everything for us. When we are sad, the only person who can relieve it is the person we are attached to, or all the reasons for our happy moments are gathered in that person, or that person has to make us happy all the time. In this sense, I think we all misunderstood connecting together and we are very happy in this way.

All the books, movies, songs and folk songs for centuries have told us that this feeling is the only thing in the world. They are about people who give up on themselves to meet each other under all the pain and trouble. Beneath every word, there is a tear, a renunciation, perhaps the loss of one’s self with the feeling of not being able to meet. Sometimes, they say that a single phenomenon of ‘connecting’ is not enough for the continuation of their love, the love they feel as if they are flowing in their veins. When the whole world stands in front of them and they have one last step to take, they show that they have taken that step towards that person. They summed up so well that bonding should be built on the expectation of pure love from the other side… Now, when we look at it, renunciations are called ‘I can’t’. There are more excuses to go and he tries to climb the steps of life that he believes to be the best for him, leaving his love of a big crowd thinking about his own life to one side. Unaware that they will be stuck in a place where there is no love, they do not know that when they go to bed at night, they will cling to the knotted corners of the bond they gave up. As time gets cruel to people, people take a more reserved attitude towards the people they are attached to and rush to the base to escape from that feeling. That’s why I can say that it is beautiful, like everything in the old times, old-time loves too… Those loves that are tried until the last breath to live without giving up, no matter what anyone says. Mountains to be crossed for a pair of eyes to see, or letters given to the newspaper so that they can reach their loved ones… Back then, people made sacrifices for their loved ones as much as they loved them. Hearts are not connected to a single moment lived, but to the person who made it live. Sometimes such beautiful sentences are used to explain that love is not enough, and how the bond between them is cut with a pair of scissors, no matter what is done. Sometimes they told how they gave up on that love so that nothing could happen to that insurmountable bond. Just as İzzet Günay said to Türkan Şoray: ‘Love was not enough either, we would have met a long time ago.’

Hold tight to the moments when what goes through your heart is the light on your path. Embrace this feeling if you are going to hold on to the one waiting for you at the end of the road with the same feeling, even if you run away from chronic ties and run for miles. And think about that thing you think you can’t give up, is it the end of a rope or two pairs of eyes? Now I’m asking you, are we connected, really?

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