Approach to problem behaviors

Approach to behavioral problems
Anger problems in children are mostly caused by the inability to express emotions verbally. Recognizing emotions and expressing them verbally is one of the most important skills we can teach our children. Emotions are actually the basic building blocks for our survival instinct. Every emotion exists for our benefit. Emotions that we are uncomfortable with such as anger, sadness, fear are actually our defense mechanisms that we have acquired to protect our body. Every emotion is necessary. With this awareness, it is our greatest responsibility to accept all the feelings of our children with compassion and to give them the opportunity to recognize their feelings.
Identifying the triggers: Identifying the triggers is the first step in the emergence of problem behaviors.
What happens before the behavior? Observe for a week. After what situations does the behavior occur? Usually what day or time. When you are hungry or sleepless?..etc
What happens during the behavior? How are you feeling?
What is your reaction after the behavior? Do you reward or punish?
These questions help identify triggers. You need to examine the identified triggers to remove them from the child’s life, speak in public, and understand the child’s underlying need.
To reshape or change your child’s behavior, teaching your child what to do is more effective than telling him what not to do.
You can get help from the following steps to change your child’s aggressive behavior: For example, let’s look at the cascade for hitting behavior.
1. Stop the Behavior. As soon as you see your child hitting and hitting, remove him from the environment and make him stop. You can hold hands. Say ‘Stop’ with your child by making eye contact. It is important that your tone of voice here is firm but not angry.
2. Stay in Control and Calm. Your feeling is very important. Even if the parent does not express the emotion, it passes directly to the child. Your reactions to your child’s negative behavior become a model for your child to use these behaviors. That’s why it’s important that you control your reactions and express your emotions appropriately.
3. Understand-Express her Feeling and Explain the Cessation of her Behavior. Emotion projection is very important for many problems. With emotion projection, the child has the opportunity to recognize his emotions and see himself from the outside.
From time to time, children may exhibit hitting behavior in the game, but many children resort to this reaction when they are angry or distressed. Express the emotion your child is feeling at the moment (I can see that he is angry now), but also convey that hitting is not acceptable (You are angry right now, I understand your anger, but hitting is not appropriate. It hurts when the person hits). You can also tell your child that your hands are not meant to hit or hurt others. .
For example you want…. You felt angry that it didn’t happen, and you didn’t know what to do and hit me. It hurt when you hit me. I want to talk about this thing you’re angry about. (explain the subject honestly to the child in a way he or she can understand).
eg: You are crying right now. I think something happened that made you sad. Do you want to share with me?
With emotion projection, the child feels understood and accepted. This, in turn, can address their underlying need.
4. Say and Show What To Do. When you observe your child’s hitting behavior, use this as an opportunity to teach him a new positive behavior. Your child may need to learn to express anger and sadness in words, in different ways (asking for help, writing, art, etc.). You can also show your child how to appreciate positive things, teach them how to “High”, use words of appreciation such as “Bravo”, “Great”, and increase their use by helping them recognize appropriate situations. You can let it hit a vehicle, such as a Haciyatmaz or a pillow.
5. Appreciate the Positive Immediately. Focus on the positive behaviors that your child performs by imitation or spontaneously, try to notice them. Appreciate your child as soon as you see positive behavior. Tell your child the behavior you appreciate (you put your books away very carefully, I like it very much).
Appreciate behavior rather than general appreciation.

When you observe your child’s hitting behavior, first give him a warning and if he continues to hit, you remind him of the result. When he resumes, remove him from the game/situation and wait until he calms down.
Presenting a choice: offering a choice supports the ability to think alternatively. This makes it easier to deal with difficult emotions. For example, if you choose to fight with your brother, you choose not to watch TV in the evening. But if you prefer not to fight with your brother, you can watch the cartoon for 1 hour every night.
For example: if you prefer to hit when you are angry, in the evening …. You choose not to do (an activity that you like and can say would happen if you didn’t). But if you prefer to relax by telling me what you’re angry about instead of hitting when you’re angry, you can do whatever you want.
The trick in offering options is to be firm and consistent. When you continue with the same method for at least 3 weeks without giving up, the behavior change will be settled.

exp. Merve Ata Utebay

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.