Anxiety in the child: the burden of unreachable expectations

Physical symptoms such as trembling and sweating in the hands, rapid heartbeat and arrhythmia, ringing or buzzing in the ears, dizziness; Your child may be trying to cope with anxiety, whose emotional and cognitive symptoms such as inability to perceive, difficulty in speaking, crying, distress, fear and panic are experiencing attacks or fluctuations in the form of increase-decrease. You can observe this situation in exam periods, in some situations that need to show performance, or even more commonly. You have learned from both your experiences and your environment that saying “why is he experiencing such things at this age”, “the child is doing it for attention at work” or “oh my life will pass in two days” or being in panic as if he has a relentless disease will not be the right attitude for your child’s recovery. .

So what will prevent your child from experiencing these attacks and heal him?

Parenting is one of the most glorious experiences in which our inner parents take the stage to address the child in front of us, not the child in us. And when we take into account its duration and intensity, we may even realize that the parents in ourselves are suddenly ourselves. It is highly probable that these parental voices “without any bad intentions” make attributions for our child to do everything right, to be the most successful, to be the most well-behaved child, to never do mischief anyway. When these do not happen, he may adopt an attitude that raises his voice suddenly, waving his finger in a threatening way, frowns up and not listening to excuses, which is famous for his criticism and judgment. Of course, it is necessary to guess that the acquisition of a fundamental place in the relationship you establish with your child, without even being aware of these sounds, will lead to some sounds in your child. And this is the voice of the flawed child standing against his critical parent’s voice in you. It is the voice of the child who does not do what he does, who is not completely perfect, who cannot do it, or who thinks he is inadequate.

Now focus on the parental voices within yourself, and you will hear many things that he says to your children and others. While listening to him, is it possible for your child to be in life, to grow up by discovering and experiencing, to realize himself by accepting you and others, and to see that life has more colors than doing-successful, being the first? If not, your answer may be that it’s time for you and him to change those voices.

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