Often, when children are frustrated with something they want very much, or when they are disappointed by a situation, they can make sudden outbursts of anger meaning “no”. He may exhibit behaviors such as shouting, crying, kicking, screaming, hitting, throwing himself on the ground, and even hitting his head on the floor or wall from time to time.
Causes of tantrums; It is the conflict with the parent as a result of the child wanting to do something himself, wanting to choose himself, and wanting to go himself. When children do not get what they want, the ground for tantrums is prepared. The child wants to be “independent”. Seizures also occur in situations where the family prevents you from saying “you can’t do it”.
Some children also have tantrums because they do not get enough attention even though they do the right thing. In this way, he will attract the attention and interest of his family.
When tantrums are reinforced, they become more frequent. If a child sees that he gets what he wants by crying, then he will want it by crying and throwing tantrums. If a child sees that he is getting too much attention during a seizure, that is, when he is having a crying attack, he will repeat this behavior to get attention.
So how should parents behave?
• First of all, you need to listen actively so that the child can express his feelings, understand and tell what he is angry about, why he is crying. At the root of most problems is the fact that we do not listen and understand each other. If you allow your child to express himself, you will make great progress in this regard.
• You went shopping and she said she wanted to buy something she shouldn’t have. Your answer was “no” and your child started crying. What you need to do here is to stand behind your “no” and not take that thing. Maybe the market will clash, cry, shout, and most of the time people around will look at you strangely. However, you should not take it. Wait for him to calm down. If the child makes something happen by crying, he will try to make it happen by crying from now on.
• Ignore your child’s behavior during a tantrum. Ignoring is a behavior that parents have difficulty in doing, but your child may be trying to attract attention from you with negative behavior. If you give him your attention with this situation, your child will continue to try to attract your attention with negative behaviors.
• Remain calm when a tantrum occurs. When you get into a power struggle and get stubborn, your child will observe this behavior and then begin to treat you this way. Children pay more attention to your actions than what you say.
• Set a time when you go to the park. And let me know when that hour starts to run low. “We’ll be going home in 10 minutes.” as. Advance reminders will prepare the child.
• Children, like adults, like to make their own choices and a sense of control. Give your children the right to choose something and don’t get into a power struggle about it. For example, “Do you want to wear a red sweater or a green sweater?” as. Let your child choose.
• Observe when your child’s outbursts occur. It can happen when you are tired, when you come from school, when you wake up, when you get sleepy. Knowing these times in advance will help you.
• During the seizure, you can divert your child’s attention and talk about a different topic.
• Children can’t control themselves when they are angry, when they have an outburst of anger. You can make him feel accepted and safe in every way by giving him a boring hug. Tell him that you will hug him like this until he calms down.
I realize that all of this requires patience. However, we cannot expect positive and healthy reactions from the child without doing these. If you approach it positively, your child will approach you in the same way. Do not hesitate to consult a specialist if you need it.