There is a subject that I have been observing and thinking about the beliefs of all of us for a long time and finally I wrote:
I realized that most of us are overwhelmed by this word. If the subject is brought up in public, it is immediately changed, it is closed by saying “such things are unspeakable” or “shameful” among friends / family, when we see it at school or in class, we start to get embarrassed and laugh under the mustache. So what is this sexuality? Why do we mythologize something fundamental that comes after hunger, thirst, and sleep among physiological needs? As mentioned in the definition of sexuality, it is a natural and healthy part of life. It is a concept that has biological, psychological and social dimensions, but it starts with knowing one’s self and noticing sexual pleasure points. But we know that this is not how things work. Of course, we all have some sexual schemas, but unfortunately, these are wrongly ingrained in our subconscious since childhood through family, culture and society. Only the man can desire sexuality, the man should initiate and manage the sexual activity, women enjoy more than men, the penis size of the man is very important and the pleasure in intercourse is parallel to this situation, the ultimate goal of sexuality is orgasm, a possible erection or ejaculation problem in men is related to the woman. is…
These and countless myths like these get settled in our minds without us being aware of it, and remain there because of the biggest problem, which is the inability to talk about sexuality. As a result, these negative thoughts turn into negative emotions and they turn into negative behaviors. Did you know that sexual dysfunctions (vaginismus, orgasm disorders, retardation/premature ejaculation, etc.) that we can all experience occur as a result of the beliefs I mentioned above (if not organically) and how negatively they affect the lives/relationships of the individual? (Not to mention those who don’t realize or admit they have a problem.)
In order to leave all these problems behind and face sexuality and remove myths from our lives, the first and most important step should be to replace these false beliefs with functional ones. Now, what may come from those who read the article, “What do you mean, psychologist lady, are you telling us to have sexual intercourse?” Let me answer your questions in advance: Of course not! It is not for anyone but you to decide on such an individual matter. All I can say is, do not simplify sexuality by perceiving it as a penis-vagina union, nor deify it so much that we forget that it is our reason for existence. Remember! We lay the foundations of mental problems with our dysfunctional beliefs, emotions and thoughts that we suppress.
Footnote: If you or a friend (!) are experiencing the above-mentioned or similar situations, definitely consult a specialist.