5 Tea with My Kids Sides

Healthy Adult (Healthy Adult Mode) I called all my children to 5 o’clock tea. They came without breaking me, thank you. We sat down at the table and I asked them if they remember their situation one by one. After all, there is a responsibility that comes with being an adult.

The Impulsive side of me that has trouble sitting at the table ( Impulsive Kids Mode) He immediately began to speak with the tone of a spoiled child. “What is there to talk about? I don’t like such conversations. You are forcibly keeping me here, you said come, here I am.” As if muting my impulsive side, a voice came up, Angry Boy, beside me. (Rage Boy Mode) “I hate spoiled, selfish people like this. Every single one of them is driving me crazy. Then the pumpkin explodes on my head again because I got angry.” he grumbled.

If the Hurt Child is with me (Injured/Injured Child Mode) He wandered through his own thoughts as if oblivious to the conversation at the table. It was clear that he had gone through something that was troubling him. The fact that he was constantly sad and melancholic only increased the anger of the Furious. Angry did not like it at all, he even hated those who exploited feelings like this. According to him, it was the work of the poor to grieve. He was strong, he never showed his sadness, he even showered his opponent with anger. He said he should think that I would be upset.

But I knew (Healthy Mode). As angry as she was at the Hurt, she was just as upset as he was. Angry she was spreading anger, just as she was spreading the sadness that had accumulated inside her when the volcano erupted. Maybe this situation relieved him a little, but he was not happy either.

My impulsive side was busy eating whatever was on the table. He said that these conversations are not for me. He intended to satisfy his own emotional hunger in his spiritual realm. Because he always preferred to be blind and deaf to those feelings. His only concern was to find something to numb him to the point where he could act without thinking and not feel the pain. I know in good health that he was one of those who escaped his pain only.

Whenever the Hurt, Angry and Impulsive get together and share the feeling of the Hurt and feel sad; leaving sadness aside, Angry and Impulsive would immediately join forces. As if trying to protect his brothers, Furious would get angry, combined with Impulsive’s indiscretion, the two of them would set fire to it.

Anyway, when we start to get very bored, thank God Happy Child is with me. (Happy Kids Mode) he jumped right in. “Let go of the sadness, the anger. Life is so beautiful, let’s dance and have fun, ”he said.

While I was thinking that if he was not happy, there would be nothing to make me smile in this gloomy environment, I realized that I had no children to share his happiness and joy. Happy’s words made the hurt even more sad. She thought she wouldn’t be as happy as he was. While his pessimism was increasing, it was read that he was very jealous of Mutlu.

Angry, on the other hand, threw an envious glance at Happy while getting even more angry at those who stole her happiness from her hand in the face of Happy’s joy. If he is impulsive, he must have felt his own hunger for happiness in front of Happy, because he was busy eating like nothing else on the table. Didn’t he always do that anyway? Whenever he was bored with something, wouldn’t he immediately seek bodily pleasure? He did so again.

If he was happy, he was stunned by all that he saw. She didn’t do anything to anyone, she just said let’s dance. What could be wrong with that? Then, before things got even worse, I had to intervene as a Healthy Adult. They told about their feelings, I listened. Each emotion was a manifestation of unmet needs. When their Emotional Needs are not met; Hurt, he was in a whirlpool of sadness, Furious was raging with anger, and Impulsive was acting without thinking and always causing trouble. Yes, I found the solution to the problem: They needed to share their feelings and wishes in the appropriate language. For this, I helped them to develop alternative thoughts and behaviors. Feeling understood for the first time, the happiness in these children increased. Now there were 4 happy Children at the table. And they were happily getting ready to play.

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