3 Simple Rules for Being Happy

To be happy… You can be bombarded with happiness throughout the day. When you enter Instagram, it seems as if everyone is having fun, except you, and having the best moments of their lives. When you log in to LinkedIn, everyone gets an education, celebrates their new success or talks about important ideas that will change human history. When you enter Twitter, it writes about all kinds of problems, troubles and negativities, as well as what someone gets by working while you sleep and why you can never compete with them in the same lane. After all this, it is so likely that you will feel exhausted, defeated and tired. On the other hand, it’s as if a group of people in secret are constantly telling you that you have to be happy. “Come on, you can do it! Just ask and be happy!” they say. You want it but it still doesn’t work. You blame yourself for not being able to be happy this time. So is there any scientific way we can make a day that has gone so badly better? Of course there is.

1. Let go of perfectionism.

Everyone wants to be perfect. The perfect spouse, friend, employee, friend, driver or partner. But what is this perfect? How did we agree on a single perfection when we all think differently about even the smallest things in nature? Or can we all be different from one another? For some, being perfect is never to make mistakes, while for others, it can be predicting the future and solving all kinds of problems beforehand. For one, even a single hair on his face can ruin his perfection, for another, a small lie can end it all. Sometimes we force ourselves to be perfect. Sometimes to treat others perfectly. The desire of some of us to be perfect comes from within, and some of us feel it under the pressure of someone else (mother, father, boss, society, etc.). But one truth is constant. Even if the idea of ​​being perfect turns into a goal and makes you spend extra effort and even works for you from time to time, it always affects your life negatively in the final analysis. Because absolute perfection is too heavy a responsibility to be placed on a person’s shoulders. That’s why when focusing on the negatives of a bad day, it’s helpful to familiarize yourself with the idea of ​​”doing things” rather than “making things perfect.” Only when you feel the rewarding comfort of doing things can you be free from the shame and guilt of perfectionism.

2. Don’t Avoid People.

We are social creatures. In nature, some creatures always hang out alone except for mating, while others are in groups. When we examine all societies in the world, it is quite clear which category we fall into. Yes, sometimes other people can be annoying and a headache. It is also very important to be alone at such times and to enjoy your own friendship. But if this ascetic lifestyle becomes more and more violent and turns into social isolation, this leads us to a contradiction with our nature. Studies in the field of psychology clearly reveal the benefits of the time we spend with other people. This does not necessarily mean being in a crowded environment with many people. Any person who understands, listens to you and can discover new experiences together is enough to brighten your day. It makes your next interaction more difficult and tiring as you avoid meeting people. In other words, if you stop meeting with people once and continue this isolation, you will become more introverted over time and you will find meeting with people more frightening. If you think your social anxiety makes any interaction impossible, it would be helpful to seek help from a psychologist.

3. Be Forgiving to Yourself and Others.

Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes are big and some are minor. Concepts such as shame, guilt, remorse are not always bad. A person who commits a wrong behavior can change his wrong behavior by experiencing such feelings. You may feel these feelings if you hurt others by lying and are ostracized when it comes out. However, if you have started to change events and affect both yourself and your environment positively, there is no point in continuing negative emotions. The same includes forgiving people who have done wrong to you. For example, in one study, people were given two scenarios where a colleague insulted them at work. In the scenario of one group, this colleague was forgiven, and in the scenario of another group, revenge was taken from this colleague. According to the results of the research, the people in the group who forgive the wrong person felt better. Being forgiving has not made it easier to accept another person as a human being and has not preoccupied the mind with more anger, grudge and hatred. Forgiveness increases self-esteem and psychological health, while reducing hostile feelings, anxiety, and stress.

In conclusion, if you have a bad day and you want to be happy, instead of simply wanting to be happy, you can start by loosening the chains and rules that are holding you back. If you pay attention, the above 3 rules include areas that are under your control. If we are concerned with how you perceive the world and not with someone else’s behavior, we can regain control of your emotions. It’s normal to feel bad some days. Every day we feel low or depressed is not a psychological problem. However, if the number of these days is increasing and we have begun to believe that we cannot find a way to be happy, we can start by applying these items.

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